Fun with elastics

Kelsey and April have been telling me all day to write a post about our elastics, so here it is. My verbosity must have been building up today, so please bear with this massive entry:

It all started when I yoinked a rubber band from a bundle of mail one fine day. It was one of those fun ones that stretch really good, so I kept it by my computer to play with when I was bored. Sadly, I must have enjoyed it too much, because I pulled a Lenny from "Of Mice and Men" and killed it; it snapped in my very hands. In an effort to comfort me, Kelsey offered me an elastic from her stash. As much as that gesture meant to me, it just was not my stretchy, fun one. So, Kelsey wrote "Dana Sven" on it, and it is now proudly displayed on top of my eMac.

Kelsey's stash soon came in handy when our beloved pet, Gunther, was attacked by a spider (see previous posts about this). This is when I fully realized the power I possess when wielding elastics. [Mwa ha ha] Kelsey and I soon began launching them in each other's general directions. It was good times.

Then, one dull, rainy Monday morning, Kelsey surprised me with a gift: the mother of all elastics! It was so beautiful; I almost cried. I thought it might make a good headband, but I realized that wasn't a good idea when it squeezed my forehead so tightly that my eyes crossed. As a red line formed on my forehead, Kelsey tried it out as a necklace. We decided it was not for accessorizing. We sprang to our feet and made a dash to the hallway (we didn't have too far to go, being in the unoffice and all, so I'm not sure how much of a dash it actually was) where we promptly began firing it to see how far we could get it. Fred and Julia joined us, bringing us a screwdriver to use as some sort of primitive launchpad for Mungo the Elastic. We then tried our luck with some pliers, trying to turn Mungo into a slingshot. We were unsuccessful. Then we tried to shoot unsuspecting co-workers in other offices, but could not get much distance. However, we did manage to let it fly into Nik and Chhavi's office, and our giggle fit at Nik's surprised reaction was met with much negative head-shaking and Chhavi's wondering what "Sven and Gunther" were up to. We decided to put away the elastic and return to work...

Later, as Nik was explaining a particular web assignment to me, he caught sight of the behemoth of a rubber band lying on my desk and his eyes lit up. "What is this?" he asked excitedly as he began to play with it. Soon, he was brandishing an expertly-crafted slingshot, using only the elastic and two fingers. He demonstrated his weapon of choice by launching some wadded-up Post-Its down the hall, then decided it was time to get back to work. After many failed attempts at replicating The Swedish Slingshot, Kelsey and I invaded his office and made him show us again. It was there that an interesting conversation about carpenter's thumbs took place.

But to get back on track, Kelsey and I had finally learned the art of The Slingshot and returned to our desk, where we practiced launching Homies around the unoffice. The skill had not left us the next morning, either, and soon we were once again firing bits of paper around. Then that devilish look entered our eyes. We began shooting rubber bands at Janet, who was slightly amused, and Julia, who was more entertained by our antics. After some guerrilla shooting in the hallway, we launched Mungo at Nik again, who caught us off-guard and fired it right back with an almost deadly aim. My life flashed before my eyes, but luckily, the elastic hit the windowsill instead of me.

The adventures of the Giant Band ended when I finally got The Super Swedish Slingshot to work - I was experimenting with a MicroHomie and accidentally hit Phil. Luckily, he was understanding and just shot it right back at me.

If Kelsey and I return to the store from whence she bought Mungo, I can only imagine the fun to come.....